2022 BMW Alpina XB7 Review: For Families In A Hurry

The Alpina XB7 is an oddity, but a wonderful one at that. BMW itself doesn't bother making M versions of anything wearing a 7 badge, and for good reason: The 7 models are built for comfort, not performance. Sure, they're powerful, but the main aim is rather effortless speed as opposed to lap times. We've spent a lot of time in the BMW X7 M50i, and at no point did its 523 horsepower feel like it wasn't enough. We're talking about a seven-seater leviathan that can get to 60 mph in 4.5 seconds. That's perfectly fine for the school run and for scaring some fairly capable sports cars.

Enter the Alpina XB7, which is aimed at people who like to sleep late. If you want to absolutely dominate the school run, you are the target market. This X7 comes with 612 horses and tops out at 180 mph. Thankfully, Alpina doesn't mess with the comfort. The plush interior and superb ride are two of the main reasons why you'd buy an X7, making it a worthy competitor to the Mercedes-AMG GLS 63 and even the more prestigious Bentley Bentayga. You might be wondering why BMW allows both its M division and Alpina to exist? It's simple. BMW's M division turns everything related to a specific model up to 11. Alpina simply makes cars faster and more luxurious. Is the Alpina XB7 worth the additional $40,000 investment over the standard X7 M50i or the cheaper Mercedes rival mentioned above?

What's the Price of the 2022 BMW Alpina XB7 SUV?

The price of the 2022 BMW Alpina XB7 SUV starts at an MSRP of $141,450, excluding the destination charge of $995. We built our example, featuring Dravit Grey paint, 23-inch Alpina Classic wheels, a full black leather interior with Alpina Piano Black trim, and a few must-have standalone options. The total came to just over $155,000.

Handling and Driving Impressions

Alpina has made a few serious upgrades in this department. The Alpina sport suspension includes full air suspension, a new adaptive damping system, and a dome-bulkhead strut to increase rigidity. You also get Integral Active Steering with rear-axle steering, which does feel sharper and provides more feedback. This steering system offers three driving modes: Comfort, Sport, and Sport+. According to the marketing fluff, the XB7 sits 1.6 inches closer to the ground in its lowest, raciest setting. This means it has a lower center of gravity, which is a must in a performance car. Finally, it adds an electronically-variable active limited-slip differential and much bigger Brembo brake calipers.

We like the straight-line speed and the bigger brakes. An SUV (or SAV, as the X7 and XB7 prefer to be called) with this much power needs all the brakes. The rest is a bit like pasting a GTI badge to the rear of an elephant. Sure, you notice the differences when you push the limits, but the resulting speed and G-forces also happen to be the exact requirements needed to get a child blowing chunks like the Niagara falls. The lower center of gravity is a nice bragging point, but to us, it's like boasting about winning a street fight against a one-armed elderly bum. This is still a 5,860 lbs SUV, and you simply can't get around that.

Alpina's limited-slip differential can be useful in the right setting. During a bit of light off-roading, it might provide some assistance, but we can't see the BMW Alpina XB7 doing the kind of 4x4 obstacles that require this feature. And it's certainly not for sliding around. If you switch all of the nannies off, the XB7's default is nice and safe understeer. Try and counteract this with some throttle and the large body will do this sort of weird skipping thing. It doesn't feel dangerous, but it's also not pleasing. If it's sheer driving pleasure you're after, get an X7 xDrive40i. It gives you 335 hp and costs $74,900. You'll still have $66,400 left over, which you can spend on a BMW M2 Competition.

Despite all the serious performance hardware that allows a three-row SUV to corner at high speeds without toppling over, Alpina's mission has always been different from what BMW's M department does. BMW M does a full overhaul of a car, basically turning it into a track-ready weapon. Alpina adds speed, but retains the comfort associated with standard Bimmers. That's where the XB7 really shines. It's stupid fast, yet remains as comfortable as the standard X7.

Verdict: Is the 2022 Alpina XB7 A Good SUV?

The only major benefit we can think of with the XB7 is bragging rights. If your neighbor has an X7 M50i and you want to upstage him, get one of these. Our main problem is that the X7 didn't need more power. We spent a reasonable amount of time behind the wheel of the M50i and at no point did it feel slow. Remember, this giant SUV uses a detuned version of the same 4.4-liter twin-turbo used in the M5. It's already hard to make a case for the existence of the X5 M, and once you add two additional seats and a bigger body, it just becomes too ridiculous. BMW will slap an M badge on just about anything these days, and the fact that it doesn't do a full-fat M version of the X7 should have been the first clue. Families simply don't need to get to 60 mph in less than five seconds. We acknowledge, however, that the XB7 is a fine piece of engineering, utterly luxurious, and feels more special than a regular X7.

However, if you need a seven-seater luxury SUV, we'd recommend the 40i model in our X7 road test. It has ample power, is a lot more affordable, and can tow 7,500 lbs. You get all of the must-have features, so it's not like you're losing anything other than a large amount of power that is completely unnecessary. We'd much rather get a base X7 and spend what's left on a real performance car like the M2 Competition.

What BMW Alpina XB7 Model Should I Buy?

There is only one model, but there are a few optional extras to throw on. We'd spec ours in Dravit Grey metallic with the Ivory White full-leather package. We'd have to add the spectacular Sky Lounge LED roof and the second-row captain's chairs. Since this is the epitome of luxury, we'd want the rear-seat entertainment system. As built, you're looking at a total of nearly $150,000 including destination, for the BMW Alpina XB7 SUV.

2022 BMW Alpina XB7 Comparisons

2022 BMW Alpina XB7 vs Mercedes-Maybach GLS

Mercedes-Benz offers the GLS in two flavors, both of which compete with the XB7. The Mercedes-AMG GLS 63 is a sportier offering, while the Mercedes-Maybach GLS adds more comfort. We think the Maybach is closer in concept to the XB7, so that's what we'll use. The Maybach starts at $160,500, which is around $20,000 more than the XB7. It's not as clear-cut as that, however. The Maybach comes with luxury business-class rear seats as standard, though it can be converted back to a five-seater at no extra cost. It has more standard features, including a high-end sound system and a dedicated rear tablet from which occupants can control many functions, fitted from the factory floor. The XB7 is faster, however. Still, the Maybach also looks better to our eyes, even though it has a slight whiff of nouveau riche. We'll take the Maybach.

2022 BMW Alpina XB7 vs BMW X7

With an MSRP of $99,800, the X7 M50i is $41,650 cheaper than the XB7. While we appreciate all of the changes Alpina makes, we're not entirely convinced it's worth the money. The average driver won't notice the 0.5-second difference in the 0-60 mph time, and you'll get arrested if you attempt the 180-mph top speed. If you go for the M50i and add every option, the total still only comes to around $118,000 including destination. And the standard X7 is an already impressive product. BMW built a solid all-rounder that somehow manages to be eerily silent and comfortable on all road surfaces. It gets uncomfortably close to the Rolls Royce Cullinan in this department. We don't see why you need to pay $40,000 extra for the Alpina version.