When luxury SUV tuners lose all sense of style...this happens.
Range Rover may well be a model line-up under parent company Land Rover, but the models have established themselves almost entirely as a standalone sub-brand. Range Rovers are synonymous with class, luxury, and performance – both on- and off-road. Land Rover has established the Range Rover as the vehicle of choice for those who want to make a statement – those who want everyone to know they’ve made it in life.
But like all good things, some people just won’t leave them alone, and several tuners have taken it upon themselves to ‘improve’ the Range Rover lineup in a few very special ways. These eight Range Rover nightmares are times it was simply taken too far. Sometimes, simplicity really is the ultimate sophistication.
Not satisfied with your Range Rover being too passenger orientated? Well, Startech can turn it into the commercial vehicle you’ve always dreamed of. Startech is a company owned by the Brabus Group, which really tells you all you need to know. Well, they took a Range Rover and converted it into one of the world’s most exclusive pickups ever, using a standard V8 Range Rover as a base and manufacturing more than 100 new bodywork components out of aluminum, carbon fiber, and steel.
The result is a pickup with a load-bay measuring 43 inches, with a remote-operated tailgate extending capacity by another 23 and a half inches. The pickup can be built from either long or short wheelbase Range Rovers, and you can get a wide-body version too, with new bodywork for “a touch of motor racing flair.” The kicker is the Startech Pickup can be imported to many countries as a commercial vehicle, qualifying for tax benefits – because the Startech Pickup is really for the farmer who’s made it in life. Consider us unimpressed.
Hamann is the German tuning firm known for its work on the likes of BMW and Porsche, but the company has also been known to ruin a Range Rover or two. While some of its kits are a little more understated, the Range Rover Evoque Convertible Wide-Body is anything but.
The Evoque Convertible is already one of our least favorite RRs around, partially due to its pointlessness (a convertible SUV, really?) but throw in an extremely tacky wide-body kit, overly wrought fenders, bumpers, and side skirts – all immensely close to the ground – and giant wheels, and it kind of makes the whole visual far worse. Oh, and have you seen that exhaust? The Hamann wide-body Evoque Convertible seems the definition of tackiness in all aspects. So much for understated class.
Spoiler alert, it’s a Mansory – and really that should tell you enough. But the Mansory Velar is a special kind of kitsch. The Velar is one of the best looking SUVs arguably ever made. It follows the theory of a design being complete not when you’ve added everything, but when you’ve taken away everything you can. Look at those flush door handles if you need proof. Mansory goes to the opposite extreme though, adding a Jeep SRT-like hood with vents – carbon fiber of course – overwrought bumpers, and carbon-fiber diffusers front and rear. The wheels are the final branch to hit on its way out of the ugly tree, though – I have no words for those.
The Range Rover Sport may have shaken up SUV territory with its blistering performance, but what made it even more impressive was the fact that it was immensely capable off the beaten track too. Revere – a London-based tuning firm – decided ‘style’ was more important, and added enough skirting all round to remove anything that could be defined as ground clearance. But it’s items like the Revere grille that really 'complete' the look. Consider this a Range Rover ruined.
Yeah, it’s another Hamann on this list, and it’s not the last either. This time, it’s what happens when Hamann gets hold of a regular Range Rover and gives it the wide-body treatment. It looks like it handed the job to its most creative 5-year old in the design department, who proceeded to add on square fender flares, garish wheels, and more vents than we know what to do with. The hood also gets extra boxes and bits added to it, with not a single piece of kit looking even vaguely functional. It leaves us with just one question – why?!
Thankfully, the interior modifications have been kept classy, meaning the Hamann Wide Body Range Rover only hurts those who look at it from the outside.
From the German tuning house, Arden, the AR12 is one of its many interpretations of how a Range Rover Should look. The tuner takes a Range Rover and significantly tweaks the engine, chassis, interior, and exterior. The body gets flared arch extensions, redesigned front and rear aprons, side skirts, and a new radiator grille. The body also gets a 1-inch drop over the regular car, and if that didn’t make it look low enough, those wheel arch extensions get filled with 23-inch 10-spoke alloy wheels. From some angles, it’s not too bad, but that front view is just a massive smorgasbord of incoherent design.
The house of Lumma is a special place, where Range Rovers go in, and monstrosities come out – stripped of their original branding and equipped with all manner of over-the-top bodywork. Maybe it’s a good thing they end up badged as Lummas instead of Range Rovers, it spares Land Rover the embarrassment. The Lumma CLR R is the pick of the bunch though.
Based on a Range Rover SV Autobiography, Lumma adds a low body kit, a cheap looking front end with horrible LED lights, a subtle roof spoiler, and tacky 23-inch alloy wheels. As if it didn’t look bad enough in secret, everyone will be looking thanks to a Lumma stainless steel sports exhaust system.
Oh dear God, somebody get the eye bleach! Described by German tuners, Hamann, the Range Rover Mystere is “nothing more but self-confidence.” 23-inch wheels scream for attention, a suspension drop lowers it by 3/5 of an inch, it gets a quad exhaust system, flared arches, a deeply shaped front bumper with integrated LEDs, and more cooling ducts than a nuclear power station. But what seals the deal – and sears the Mystere into your memory forever – is the chrome pink wrap, accented by a matte pink roof and mirror housings. The only thing that could make it more garish would be Hello Kitty decals – though those are probably an option, who knows.