A Mini is a lot of things, including, but not limited to: fun to drive, eye-catching, compact and affordable. What the Mini is not-at least on a consistent basis-is a Porsche killer. Then again, very few cars out there are capable of fully taking on the famed German sports car. This unfortunate fact of life is on full display in each of these videos. Mini manages to win a few of the races featured here, but not by enough to get it convicted of even second degree murder against Porsche.

This drag race pits a John Cooper Works Mini against a Porsche Cayenne. It's not clear whether the Mini left early or if the driver of the Porsche was just late on the gas. The winner of the race isn't too clear, although the video claims that the Mini "won many bodies 3-4-5..."

To be fair, the Mini Cooper S in this video is not stock. It was modified by the folks over at Mini Madness and has 275hp. The modded engine helps the Mini keep pace with and eventually pass the Porsche 993 it's pitted against. Score one for the little guys.

To find a Mini that can totally dominate a Porsche on the track you need to think small, small as in RC car small. Hey, you've got to take the win whenever you can.

The majority of this video will be uninteresting to you unless you speak German. The classic Mini against 997 action starts at 3:11.

After months of chest thumping, Mini finally got the race it wanted against Porsche, sort of. Mini put up a stock Cooper S against a stock 911 Carrera S on a track that can best be described as crazy. This video proves that it's sometimes better to speak softly and carry a big stick as opposed to issuing challenges on the Internet.