Dumb enough to crash into things on purpose, but smart enough to use a Volvo.
We're going to say that, while we certainly couldn't advocate conducting your own crash tests, holy crap is this Volvo 850 wagon unstoppable. Just in case you've ever wondered why Volvos have the reputation that they do for safety, and why no other manufacturer seems to be considered its equal in this area, it's because of videos like this one. The car is specifically a 1994 model, and the other cars seem to mostly be from the 90s as well, not that there's much left of them.
Feel free to bring this video up the next time a European has a snide comment about American rednecks.