The dangers of DUI are once again made clear.
They say that man is the most dangerous animal on the face of planet Earth, but there's something even more dangerous; a species that poses the single biggest threat to not only the human race but to Walmart parking lots and motel swimming pools. His name is Florida Man. We've covered numerous accounts of this aggressive species wreaking havoc all over the sunny state of Florida, and we're sad to say that Florida Man has struck once more, this time at the pier on Coronado Drive, Miami. According to local police, a wild Florida Man ended up parking his Lexus RX SUV halfway over the pier, leaving the car in a particularly precarious position.
Earlier this week, the Clearwater Police took to social media to show off this little piece of handiwork. The car can clearly be seen dangling off the side of the pier with the driver's side door standing wide open. The car seems to have beached itself right after its front wheels went over the side of the concrete. The police immediately started an investigation into drunken driving, as your average Florida Man tends to be two to three times over the legal limit on a good day. The cops' hard work eventually paid off when a 38-year-old man was charged with DUI, according to the Miami Herald.
According to statistics released by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration in 2018, Wyoming Man is technically more dangerous, causing 7.59 deaths per 100,000 people, followed by South Carolina Man with 6.22. According to the same report, New Jersey Man seems to be the most sensible with a score of only 1.38 deaths per 100,000. The Feds seem to be fed up with drunken driving and have tasked automakers with eliminating it by using passive technology to stop drunk drivers from starting their vehicles. This sounds like a great idea, but never underestimate the ability of Florida Man to skirt even the most advanced technologies in his pursuit of destruction.