This guy was so unprepared he didn’t even bring a jack to lift the 'Vettes.
One high-risk high-reward skillset that’s less talked about but will be around as long as life itself is theft. It’s an art that takes time to learn, with the best examples being the real life robbers portrayed in movies like the Ocean’s series or our favorite ode to the Mini Cooper, The Italian Job. In real life, thieves target cars and car parts of all sorts and come away with varying degrees of success, but this case concerns a thief who failed so miserably that it'd be sad if it wasn't so funny.
This is the satisfying dose of justice all you rule-lovers seek, but the enthusiast community can also get behind that need for validation by means of learning how badly others are faring because this guy, 32 year-old James Curtis, tried to mess with a stash of our favorite American sports cars, as Enterprise News reports. The victims of this attempted crime would have been Copeland Chevrolet, a dealership in Brockton, Massachusetts, and it’s stock of Corvettes if the alarm company hadn’t foiled the plot entirely. As Enterprise News reports, police responded to a call from the dealerships alarm company around 2:46 a.m. after suspicious activity was seen on one of the surveillance cameras.
Officers arrived on scene and immediately apprehended James Curtis.“They discovered the defendant’s motor vehicle parked in the bank parking lot next to the dealership,” said police Lt. William Hallisey. “Inside his motor vehicle, they found four lug wrenches, three lug nuts and three lug keys. It appears he was trying to steal tires.” Ensuring that there was no mistaking who’s car it was, police found Curtis’ wallet inside the parked car (doh!). According to the alarm company, Curtis tried to tamper with one of the cameras and police report that some of the lug nuts on the Corvettes were loose. What's interesting is that it seems this thief didn't even bring a proper jack to help get the wheels off.
Curtis was of course charged with possession of burglarious tools and larceny of motor vehicle parts, saving the dealership and its Corvettes from losing lots of money. Recently, a Chrysler dealership in Michigan saw $70,000 worth of wheels disappear after thieves made away with them and only months later, employees at a Texas Chevy dealer came to work only to find $250,000 worth of wheels missing from their vehicles. Thanks to good security and a bad thief, Copeland Chevrolet was able to spare itself a similar headache. In our humble opinion, tires need to be done away with the right way: by hooning them until they become part of the atmosphere.