Experts Conclude That Autonomous Cars Will Get You Laid More

Autonomous Car

How can you hate on that?

Right now, cities and local municipalities have laws with varying degrees of bite in regards to distracted driving. In some US states, it’s perfectly legal to Snapchat and drive or even watch porn and crash like some horny drivers. In others, simply touching a cell phone while driving merits a fine or even worse. Given the number of accidents that occur while drivers are under the influence of smartphones, it’s wise to have laws like this in place. However all of this may change with self-driving cars.

Not only will driver attention spans be free to find other distractions, but if autonomous technology takes and cars become mobile living rooms, then a lot of possibilities arise. Barrie Kirk, the executive director of The Canadian Automated Vehicles Centre of Excellence, has some idea about what people will do with all of this newfound time: make babies. Losing the V-Card in the backseat of a car has always been the plot of most classic coming of age movies, but if Kirk is right, there won’t have to be a romantic lookout point thrown into the mix to make the magic happen. Of course, it is illegal to have sexscapades behind the wheel because the driver, along with all nearby pairs of prying eyes, would be just as distracted as if they were on their phones.

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But if autonomous vehicles become sophisticated enough to allow everyone in the car to take their hands off the wheel and their eyes off the road, then cars may become heavily tinted private sex chambers and marketed based on the size of the bed inside. The problem with this now is that even the most advanced software can only be considered semi-autonomous, but as resourceful creatures, we would only use this freed up attention as another excuse to get it on. If Kirk’s speculations become a reality, then we can be sure that walks through a sex shop would be even more interesting, but for the time being, keep your eyes on the road and wait until you get home unlike this married couple who crashed a Ferrari.