If Democratic And Republican Presidential Candidates Were Cars, Here's What They'd Be

Politics

You probably know who the H1 Hummer represents.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock you know there’s a pretty heated presidential primary going on right now. It’s almost impossible to avoid people sharing Bernie Sanders quotes on Facebook and good luck turning on a TV and not having the talk go straight to Donald Trump. We won’t get into politics here because, well, cars. That being said, we have decided to pick the cars that best represent the candidates from both sides. Some you might see coming and others you might not expect.

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Donald Trump is incredibly rich and as such has owned some very awesome cars. There was this Lamborghini Diablo VT Roadster from back in the 1990s and in that same time period one of his ex-wives owned an Acura NSX. Trump is all about “making America great again,” and what car embodies American greatness more than the H1 Hummer? Few things are more American than a military-grade SUV that guzzles gas and requires two parking spots. This SUV was born during a time of prosperity for both the country and its automakers. America will only really be great again when the H1 Hummer returns to production. Make it happen, Trump.

Bernie Sanders is the embodiment of the liberal stereotype. He’s old, white, educated and from Vermont. As stereotypes go that makes the senator a Volvo, specifically an S90. Why the S90? Well, Sanders is a radically redesigned Democrat, at least as far as mainstream Democrats go. He has typical liberal talking points with a socialist twist. The S90 is also all new in terms of tech (semi-autonomous driving) and power, with up to 400 horses on tap thanks to a hybrid powertrain. But it’s still classic Volvo, which means a nuclear bomb could go off and you might be able to survive if the windows were rolled up. The only way this car could be more Vermont liberal is if it was all-electric.

Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz are both Republicans of Cuban descent. As such it only makes sense that they’d be Cuba’s classic American cars from the 1950s and before. When you think about it these Cuban cars are actually the epitome of America. They are resilient, having survived decades of daily use with only makeshift spare parts available. What’s more American than a working class person driving and maintaining a classic American car for decades? Nothing, that’s what.

Hillary Clinton has spent years in Washington D.C. and seems to be the establishment’s pick for the Democratic nominee. As such she needs to appeal to a wide swath of American voters, so why not make her car a Chevrolet Malibu (or something equally as bland)? Clinton is not liberal enough to be a Volvo and even if she was the former Secretary of State knows that driving an American car means something to voters. Honestly, you could switch out the Malibu for any other bland American mid-size sedan and it wouldn’t make a difference. That being said Clinton is on record saying she hasn’t driven since 1996 so maybe her car needs to be one with a comfy backseat.

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