Crunch the numbers all you'd like, but this true story just doesn't seem to add up. According to the Providence Journal, 53 year-old John Lourenco of Cumberland, Rhode Island, got himself drunk, then proceeded to get behind the wheel of a car. He soon got into various degrees of trouble with the law in what must be a record-breaking total of four times in 30 hours. During that time, he managed to crash four of his own cars into other vehicles and also into a tree, injuring two children in one of the crashes.

First, Lourenco crashed his Dodge pickup into an SUV carrying a family, injuring the two kids. While at the hospital, he threatened a police officer and threw a urine-filled bottle at the hospital staff. Somehow sent home, Lourenco started off the next morning by crashing his Chevy sedan into another vehicle. Again, alcohol was found on his breath. Four hours later he was stopped again behind the wheel of a Plymouth Barracuda, drunk again. Finally, he ended the day by crashing his dump truck into a tree, submitting another blood test and finally placed under arrest.