Jeremy Clarkson Is Ready To Die

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The Grand Tour presenter is not optimistic about ongoing health problems.

Jeremy Clarkson, star of Top Gear, The Grand Tour and Clarkson's Farm, has always been a bit ornery. He's grumpy on his best days and terrible on his worst. Thankfully, he's still funny on both of those days. But, in the aging British star's column in The Times (subscription required), he admitted that even he thinks his days are numbered.

"My knees give me no confidence when I'm coming down a flight of stairs. My back locks solid if I attempt to walk up a hill. My lungs feel as if they're on fire if I even look at a bicycle, and when I go for a swim it feels as though I have a small car on my back," said Clarkson.

Amazon Prime UK/YouTube
Amazon Prime UK/YouTube
Amazon Prime UK/YouTube

"And things aren't going to get any better, because soon there will be lumps and gristle and hip operations that will force me to spend what time I have left in a rocking chair, trying to finish an interesting story in the Reader's Digest about azaleas," said Clarkson. "It saddens me to think that I have now dived off a boat for the very last time and been down my last black run."

Clarkson is being a little dramatic here, though he did go through a nasty bout of pneumonia in 2017 and has remarked several times on his shows that if he gets Covid, he expects that will be it. He most recently relayed this to his farming partner Caleb on an episode of his latest Amazon show.

Amazon Prime UK/YouTube
Amazon Prime UK/YouTube
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He also noted that he likes to look at the obituaries and note the ages. "This means I have 15 years left, and that's plenty," said Clarkson. He was then asked about writing fiction. "But what's the point of starting one now? I'll only get arthritis halfway through and be unable to type. And then, when I'm sent on the promotional tour, I'll stand there like Joe Biden running all my words into one and forgetting everyone's name."

Clarkson is easy to complain about, probably because he complains so often. But we have to say that he still feels like the glue that holds costars Richard Hammond and James May together after all these years, especially on The Grand Tour adventure shows. Plus, he's rich. We're sure we'll be seeing him ripping a classic Ford Mustang around and/or driving his Lamborghini tractor well into his 80s.

Amazon Prime UK/YouTube
Amazon Prime UK/YouTube
Source Credits: The Times

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