Kim Jong Un Should Buy The Audi A8 L Security

Armored Car

Dictators love this stuff.

High-security cars are all the rage as the wealthy elite, ranging from sports stars and A-list celebs to underworld criminal bosses and dictators of fascist regimes, have become hated more than ever before. To cash in on this fear of being gunned down in one’s prime, Audi has unveiled the A8 L Security based on the long wheelbase variant of the recently refreshed A8 flagship.

The optional W12 FSI naturally-aspirated 500-hp unit should be enough to help the executive sedan out of harms reach. If not, then it complies with VR 7 ballistic protection, so it can withstand firing with NATO sub-caliper ammunition, and some areas of the car are resistant to explosives. Integrated into the body as a stand-alone element is an occupant cell made of heat-foamed armor steel, aramide fabric, ceramic, a special aluminum alloy and multi-laminated glass. Side sills incorporate ballistic-proof profiles and the car has an armor-plated floor, both of which can withstand attack by military hand grenades.

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Windows feature a splinter-inhibiting polycarbonate layer, while the passenger can communicate with the outside world using an intercom wired up to a loudspeaker in the grille. Optional goodies include a patented emergency exit. By pressing a sealed switch while pulling a door handle, special bolts in the hinges detach the door from the body, and it can then be opened with a light push. A fire extinguisher system, emergency fresh-air system, and smoke extractor are other nifty features. Available to order now, deliveries of the Audi A8 L Security will start in the fall when hopefully buyers will still be alive to be driven around in one.