A man in Aurora, Colorado, is reported to be in critical condition but likely to survive after he jumped out of his car to avoid being burned by a cigarette he had dropped, only to run over his own head. We're not entirely sure how the physics of something like this works, but he evidently fell over after jumping out of the van, which rolled backwards and ran over his head with the front driver's side wheel. Not even Mr. Bean ever managed to do that.

A relative was in the car at the time, which is presumably where the details come from. Police say that alcohol is believed to have been a factor, which shouldn't surprise anyone who has even heard of a drunk person. They have also issued a statement about the dangers of distracted driving, which seems like seriously understating the situation. But then, statements telling you not to be a drunk idiot would be stating the obvious. So remember kids, smoking is dangerous, even in ways that you might have never thought of before.