Vicious Bear Attacks Eco-Friendly Prius

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A treatsie on bears, Prii and why a combination of the two is a recipe for disaster.

Everyone knows about how bears ferociously attack and devour peacefully swimming fish in rivers and streams throughout our great country. The horrible atrocities that bears have been committing around the rest of the world have also become the stuff of headlines, including the death and destruction of thousands of seal colonies, walruses and even beluga whales. The monstrous animals roam unchecked and don't conform to any rules or answer to any authority.

Their anger has gone unchecked for far too long and now they have evolved, changed their eating habits from cute and cuddly animals to law-abiding, eco-friendly Toyota Prii. The Toyota Prius is the definition of noble chastity and virtue, of abiding the laws and never endangering a soul. Well, to be honest we don't appreciate smug values either like virtue or whatever chastity is and it's easy to abide traffic laws when you vehicle can barely break the speed limit. And I guess it could endanger a soul if you electrocute yourself while plugging it in.

Then again if you are someone who needs to plug in either your car or barbeque it wouldn't really be such a big loss, but I digress. This story comes from California, where a bear climbed into a 2002 Toyota Prius in the middle of the night and got stuck behind the wheel. Frantic, the bear started kicking and swinging his paws manically, like James Hunt in a room full of racecar groupies. The bear knocked the car into neutral and, being parked on a hill, rolled backwards through the neighborhood before coming to a stop on the front porch of one of their neighbors.

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The local police department issued a statement, saying that it's not uncommon for bears to break into cars looking for food, however for them to actually hit the shifter and drive off with the car isn't a regular occurrence. The bear ended up breaking out of the Prius and escaped to the woods. The Prius was totaled and the bear is undoubtedly continuing its murderous rampage through the Californian wilderness.

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