R8 Coupe

Make
Audi
Segment
Coupe

We've seen our fair share of idiotic car thieves over the years. A Tesla thief got trapped in a Model 3, another guy got run over by the very car he was trying to steal, and another even left identification at the scene of the crime. But have you ever seen a thief get into a car with a dashcam, hear an audible message saying that the system is recording, and then lead police right to your house? Us neither, until today. The moron at fault for liberating this Audi R8 from its owners did just such a thing in Newcastle, New South Wales, Australia.

It seems that the thief was being pursued by police in his Ford Fusion. He ditched the vehicle and vaulted fences before raiding numerous houses for cash and valuables, one of which he acquired over $60,000 from, according to 9News. At some point, he came across a house where he found the keys to the R8, which was parked in the garage. Not realizing that the dashcam was running, he then went on a joyride where he reached speeds of over 100 mph. As you can tell from the way he drives the car, he's not in danger of being mistaken for Dale Earnhardt Jr. He's also unlikely to be mistaken for Bill Nye, since he drives in a manner that endangers the lives of motorists, pedestrians, and himself.

The thief's escapades lead to sever damage on the car, with multiple suspension components sustaining severe damage, along with the carbon fiber front splitter, wheels, clutches, and brakes all suffering too. This genius also couldn't figure out how to shift gears with the dual-clutch automatic on a few occasions. Once the left rear wheel was pulled completely out of alignment, he continued to drive, creating a trail of smoke and rubber that led police to his doorstep. Three days after the theft, 49-year-old Darren Johns was arrested on charges of car theft, reckless driving, unlicensed driving, and breaking and entering. The owners got their car back, but if it were us, we'd have been happier to find it totaled than deal with such intense repairs.